You Snooze You Lose

Okay so lately i have been doing a ton of job hunting. I was doing pretty freakin good too..i had a lot of interviews. i had jobs offered to me. There just were the lesser of my choices. I had other applications waiting at jobs that i desired more for different reasons like pay, or hours, or just the task i would be doing.

Well i rejected one job offer, at Target. It was good interview practice and everything so i'm not upset it didn't work out. It felt good to be offered a job :) even if it was just at target...haha i'll take whatever i can get. a job is a job, better then nothing right?

I then had to get back to Noah's Bagels about the job they had offered me. I preferred a bagel girl more then a clothing sales position because it was within walking distance and had way better hours. I could work mornings to afternoons instead of nights and weekends. I called and they had already hired somebody. Uhg! i had totally blown that opportunity.

So yes that ^ is why i say "You Snooze You Lose".

I snoozed on a good job i could have had and i lost it. now i have to wait on other applications and interviews. and who knows if i will get the job even if i want it! job hunting sucks...i feel inadequate for most jobs. I am in a spot in my life where i still have a lot to learn. I'm not particularly good at any skillz (yes with a z) except for schooling moms while playing church basketball...haha. that's a skill right?? okay cool.

But jobs isn't the only thing you can "Snooze and Lose" so i guess i can use this as a reminder to not wait on something for too long before it's gone! Sometimes you just have to go with your gut and be spontaneous. Which means i should be on a plane to Utah this monday...that quick trip to visit friends has been taunting me for months now.

I have wanted to do it now because i don't have a job and i know it would be hard once i get a job. But i don't think i necessarily deserve a vacation until i work hard to get a job. Does that even make sense? I am really trying to be responsible but it is hard!

Remember when you were a little kid and didn't have so many hard decisions to make? ahhh sometimes i am not sure if i want to grow up, but i guess i don't really have a choice.

Cousins

they are so great! It's like having a best friend that has to love you no matter what...haha okay not really but i was reminded today of how awesome cousins are.

My cousin Jacquie who you can visit HERE texted me and asked to skypee. Normally i don't really like skyping, it's the need to be in a quiet room without anybody else that bothers me i guess. I really love jacquie lots and so i gave up whatever i had against it and we had a nice chat.

I haven't seen or heard her voice in a long time and so it was really nice. Especially when currently i don't get out much and literally don't have any friends to hang out with...it was exactly what i needed! :)

Jacquie and I were super inseparably close when we were younger and she lived just 15 minutes away from me. When we were 11 she moved to Arizona. Not only was she my cousin but she was my bestest friend! So it really sucked not having her around anymore.

We took a trip down to Arizona a few years after they moved and i have gotten to see her through some other trips throughout the years. We never completely lost touch, but there were definitely times we didn't talk much, just cause we each had our own lives going at full speed.

Lately, like for the past year or so we have been talking a lot more, and i LOVE it. I found the best pictures of us when we were younger... ENJOY!

I LOVE YOU JAC :)

RAIN

My relationship with rain has been up and down for the past 15 years. Because i live in Seattle rain never goes away!

When i was a little kid i loved it!

I wasn't one of those girls that didn't go outside if it was raining, i still went out during recess and did everything i did when it wasn't raining. I remember kids screaming and just running everywhere, enjoying the rain! Of course teachers discouraged it, but even with their guidance not to get so wet...we all ended up going back to class totally soaked.

Throughout my youth i played sports in the rain, soccer in the rain was messy, but i don't remember dreading to go to practice or games when it was totally wet out. I don't remember being excited about it either. I guess you could say that Rain was just there, but i didn't really care. (that rhymed...cool! ha)

Of course during baseball season i hated when it rained, that meant we couldn't play! and if we ever did play in the rain...it was not fun. slippery ball, wet and cold hands..

In high school i freakin loved it! Having a practice in the rain was super fun for some reason...i was the crazy, silly girl on the team and i don't even know why but running our butts off in the rain was really fun for me. Our clothes would get totally soaked and my hair (that is usually naturally straight) would curl up! haha my lil whispies around my face would turn into twirls. i'm a dork and i love it when that happens! One of my favorite high school games was at skyline high school on a turf field, when it was just ridiculously pouring down rain. I can't even remember if we won but i remember it was freakin awesome to play in.

Of course there were plenty of times when i hated the rain. It would keep me from being able to hang out outside with my friends all of the time. It made it pointless to do my hair, and the walk from my car to the school was not good in the rain. On sundays when i have church i hated it when it rained haha. All of the times my clothes and everything actually mattered i didn't really like the rain. I tried to stay out of it.

When i went to Rexburg, Idaho for school i went 4 months without seeing it rain like it did in Seattle. Whenever it did rain in Idaho i ran out and danced in it. I really learned to love it NO MATTER WHAT. I didn't care what i was wearing or how my hair was done i would go out in the rain and just enjoy having the water drip down my face and just everything about it, the noise on my roof at night, the drips on my window, thunder! and lightning! :) I never thought that i would catch myself saying that i missed the crazy Seattle rain, but i totally missed it when i was in Idaho.

Now i am back home and Rain and i have been reunited. This week was freakin awesome! I got to go on a few walks with my dog in the monsoon weather haha. It was fun. Rain is beautiful. Rain makes everything around me more beautiful and makes the air totally clear. The day after it rains, everything is so clear and washed away.

So RAIN...if you're listening. i love you :) hopefully we can dance again soon, or even better play soccer soon ha

LOVE

first of all...I LOVE LOVE!

LOVE is a beautiful thing!

Whether young, middle-aged, or old
boys to girls, boys to boys, girls to girls
kids to parents, parents to kids
grandparents to kids, kids to grandparents
friends to other friends
people to dogs, or dogs to people
etc...haha you get the point.

LOVE is a beautiful thing!

I can not wait until someone loves me just as much as i love them! (in a romantic sense of course) It will be a very good feeling, i am excited!

I'm a hopeless romantic (and proud of it!) and because i love LOVE...
all of my favorite songs are the smooth R&B love songs.
my favorite movies have a cute love story in them.
my most favorite photographs to look at are of love! engagements...weddings...candids of love are the best.
The way that people look at each other when they are in love in adorable...
LOVE is such a beautiful thing it often makes me tear up, yes i cry often at cute things! it's part of growing up..right?? haha thanks mom.

Tomorrow celebrates LOVE, and all sorts of love. It should be a happy day. If you're single and think you're alone. you're really not! there are a lot of people who love you :)

Enjoy the atmosphere of LOVE while it's all over for a whole entire day.

"LOVE is all you need" ~Paul McCartney

"LOVE is not getting, but giving" ~fav dove chocolate wrapper

"LOVE is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more then any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, even the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting week knees when they walk into a room and smile at you"

"a life without LOVE is like a year without summer"

"you know you're in LOVE when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better then your dreams" ~dr. seuss

"a bell is not a bell till you ring it. a song is not a song till you sing it. LOVE in your heart isn't put there to stay. LOVE isn't LOVE till you give it away" ~oscar hammerstein

"the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out LOVE, and let it come in"

"one of the hardest things in life is to watch the one you love, love someone else"

Confidence

It's a good thing. So make sure you have some of it!

While i was looking at some more recent pictures of me, i would catch myself saying "Wow, i was actually really pretty here..."

I don't remember thinking that i was pretty when i was in middle school, or high school. I didn't believe people when they said it, and i didn't say it about myself. I just thought a lot of girls were prettier then me i guess. I think that's one of the main reasons i never really dated anyone was because of a lack of confidence in my self image.

It was weird to think back to that time, because now that i've grown up and learned more about myself and accepted it, i do think i'm a real pretty girl! It's a good feeling to believe people when they give you a compliment and say you're beautiful.

- Definitions -

Confidence: belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self confidence. GOOD

Cockiness: arrogance; being conceited. BAD

Be CONFIDENT. you don't have to be and shouldn't be COCKY...but confidence can get you a long way.

with boys.

with jobs.

with talents.

with friends.

with life! :)

I LOVE QUOTES. so i'll leave you with a few that i found inspired me.

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them" ~Michael Jordan (HOLLA for a BALLA! love him...)

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not" ~unknown

"If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price" ~unknown

"Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got" ~unknown

Reminiscing

Today was full of reminiscing with my younger sister. I loved it!

We looked at our art boxes filled with projects from our early years, and little sentimental letters and cards.

We laughed...a lot!

at things like this:

- my drawings of dogs, i was obsessive, every story and drawing assignment i made was of a dog.

- how cute spelling, writing, and drawings are in kindergarten-3rd grade.

- letters i would write my parents when i was in trouble, and in time out consisting of notes like "dear dad, if you let me out i will give you a great big kiss!" OR "dear mom and dad, i am sorry i made you mad. i hope mommy gets to go shopping with Ali happy. dad will you give mom a kiss for me because she won't want to kiss me..." haha so cute! i guess i got in trouble a lot, and saved all of the surrender and plee notes.

-how cute EVERYTHING was when i was little

Sometimes i was laughing so hard i was crying, or laughing and crying at the same time. reminiscing can do that to you i guess. And there were some things that made me straight up cry also. There was the sweetest letter from my grandpa who died when i was 5, it's so precious. i miss him. Sweet little cards my mom and dad wrote to me about what a special little girl i am to them and so on, hopefully i still am right!?

We also looked at tons of pictures, with the hopes of finding a few good ones to frame for Valentine's Day. well...all the good ones are already framed! haha oh well. It was so much fun looking back on the days when things weren't always so stressful, and hard! When i could just play and play and play and really had no worries.

Hakuna Matata baby!

Life.

If you asked me where i would be in a year...a year ago. I would not have wanted or even thought i would be where i am right now. I mean yes life is unpredictable but a lot of things have gone wrong and put me off of my desired course this past year.

2010 was not my year...i didn't perform well at BYU-Idaho and i didn't like it there. It just wasn't the right fit for me. So i'm not in school, i'm living at home figuring out what i want the next step to be, when i should be somewhere at school. My driving record sucks and so i don't have a car to drive...so that means i'm a 19 year old girl, living at home, no job, no car!? Well shoot. Most of the time i think i'm a huge loser...but that's because right now i am! haha.

I am in the process of job hunting! I babysit but that's not enough. I need a real job. I feel like i'm back at square one, except i've disappointed my parents with school, and driving so it doesn't feel like a fresh start like getting out of high school was. I've messed up plenty of opportunities that my parents have given me and i feel bad about it. In my experience, the best feeling is when someone says they're proud of you, and the worst feeling is when they say they are disappointed in you.

I don't feel like myself right now. I feel somewhat lost in life. In church this week a guy got up and said that he performed better when he was working hard, and he felt better and progressed more of course. He pointed out that people are meant to work hard and achieve things. I'm missing this aspect of life right now! I do things everyday, but not enough. My mind and body don't feel satisfied by the end of the day.

I don't enjoy life like i used to...anyone who knows me would say i'm a happy, passionate, silly girl but that's not who i am right now. i don't want this feeling to take me over but i can tell it already has. I text people everyday to stay in touch from school and such that don't live close to me and sometimes they are the highlight of my day! They don't know it but having those people to talk to helps a lot. I don't have many outlets to meet new people and tons of my local friends are away at school like i should be and so i don't get out much with friends...oh boy i'm a loser :)

I know i learn from every experience in my life, good and bad. This is the first time i think i have been such a loser...haha with not much of a life, so i know that i will learn from this.

I like learning about people and i learn a lot about myself when i'm put into new situations, and so i guess i should take this time to enjoy learning a little bit more about myself. It could be highly beneficial.

My Escape

Everyone has something that they do that lets them escape from the real world for a minute
Something that makes it so you can forget about all of your problems
and whatever issues might be going on in your life at the time ...

I put on my favorite workout tunes and head to the gym.
Others may draw, or write, or take pitcures, or walk their dog.
Whatever it is it feels great doesn't it!?

I am sure grateful that i have some time to escape everyday.
It's also great because i get a workout in and build some muscle/burn calories but it helps me out a lot. Especially right now when my life is totally out of order and i'm not where i was planning on being at age 19.

So many things go on in my head on a daily basis.
Stressful things...
Negative things...
Heck, a lot of sad things...

My mind has been wandering a lot and when my mind wanders it likes to point out the negatives in my life. I'm a pretty positive person but right now some things tend to bring me down. I hate it!

I make sure i leave some time to escape to the gym everyday and it makes my day feel so much better! And it helps my body look better too, it's a win win.

Who's That Chick That's Rockin Kicks?

Miley Cyrus is my homegirl. I relate to her line from party in the U.S.A. They're like: "Who's that chick that's rockin kicks? she's gotta be from outta town..."

Most call them shoes prefer to call them "Kicks", but whatever you call them. They're awesome. They can complete your outfit. They set the mood. Although i do love sexy heals and boots as well i am more known for my sneakers. I take pride in what is the start of my shoe collection. When i was younger i'd spend my free time customizing totally boss shoes on NikeiD.com...but i'd never actually buy them. I was too shy to draw that much attention by wearing kind of flashy shoes. Well i held that in for too long and now you rarely catch me without a fresh pair of kicks on!

I LOVE SHOES.

For loving shoes i don't really have that many...i am sure there are a ton of people out there who can totally out my "collection" to shame but i love them. Here they are...in chronological order from when i got them too :)

Red Checkered: I know what you're gonna say...it looks like a picnic table! haha. I am not sure why i got specifically this pair first. I know that i wanted a pair of red shoes, and i found these and i was so excited to rock them! Still do too!

Grey & Purple: I knew right away that once i got those that i would want a Purple pair next! Purple is my absolute number one favorite color and once i found a purple pair of shoes i had to get them. They don't look very purple here but they are! These are more conservative, but they still look fresh. I love the shimmery silver.

White Sweet Classics:

After enjoying my other high tops, i wanted a pair that could go with everything! So that i could sport a pair with whatever i wanted to wear. There's a Nike Factory Outlet store close to my house and so i went there and found these on sale. I always make sure to keep them super clean.

Creamsicle: Orange & White wit Blue:

These are more flashy and way bright. As i got more comfortable and didn't give a crap what other people thought of me i bought accordingly. My mind kept wanting to complete my fantasies of wearing the totally awesome shoes i customized back in middle school haha. With these sometimes i swop out the laces for white.

Purple & Grey: My birthday was coming up and as i was browsing on Nike.com i found these. I had to have them! They're my absolute favorite shade and color of purple. I was in school and this was the first birthday package that i received from my Grandma. Totally awesome.

'82 Sapphire AF1's: My first pair of Air Force One's! It was an exciting purchase. These are the most flashy and the most ghetto fabulous shoes i own. They're a little bit chunkier then the Dunks but i like them. I like the strap, they're awesome with skinny jeans! (any high top is too)

Get to know me...pictures :)

Letterman's Jacket :)

That was during high school. Just a couple of years ago but it shows me lookin pretty happy, and sportin one of my proudest achievements. I have always been an athlete, and love sports. I still play even though i didn't make the effort and play on a college team, i find ways to play sports where ever i am. I'd be lost without my athletics. I'm a Jock...

This is me when i was living in Idaho. It was a weekend and i was getting ready to go to a block party dance. In High School i didn't have the courage to dress like this, but now that I'm out in the real world...the true me is being released, and i love it!

I'm the seventh letter of the alphabet, i'ma G.

I know it's hard not to laugh when i say that...but just roll with it. :)

I think this started at a young age...i have played basketball since i was a youngin and even then i wore a bandanna around my head to keep my hair back, and after they didn't allow those i wore sweatbands and wrist bands. I was a part of the culture of basketball, and some of that is being a G haha. The hip-hop and rap came along with basketball for me as well.

I listen to hip-hop, rap and R&B/Soul music. I love it. I feel it! I also love dancing just freestylin and havin fun...i love gettin down to my favorite music. It's always a party if there's some good music bumpin.

Best Friends...Hippie and I :)

I am happiest when in the company of my favorite people. Right now...i don't have very much company around me often. I moved back home and most of my friends are still in school. Hippie is one of my best friends even though she lives far away. She's a real special friend to me! One that i hope i am friends with for a long time. We just click, and i learn a lot from her. Hopefully i can go on a little adventure and visit her soon.

Puppy and I :)

Yes...i call her puppy. She calls me puppy. It's the type of friendship we have. You know when puppies play and one will bite too hard and the other yelps but then they just keep on playing?? We're kind of like that...haha. It sounds stupid but it makes sense i promise. We hardly ever get too mad at each other but if we do get mad or upset about something we don't stay mad at each other for long. We apologize and move on with our friendship. We've been friends for a long time.

I cherish my friends, i believe they are special people put into our lives for a reason! sometimes just to be there for us, other times we learn and grow through friendships. I love getting to know people. The first feelings of friendship (or any relationship for that matter) are my favorite. In friendships, I try to forgive quickly and i am usually the first person to say sorry. I am the nice girl :)

Skidz and I at my first Rodeo

Although i wish that i had a dating life...i do not! A little fact about me...i have never had a boyfriend. Well that is...a relationship where it's official and i call the guy my boyfriend. I feel like i'm missin out, but it'll come someday. That photo was taken on a date i went on with Skidz, who is now just a close friend, but he lives far away too! :( He took me to my first Rodeo when i was in Idaho.

Superman and I :o)

This one on a kind of blind date i went on with one of my friend's, friend's cousins...haha got that? It was also a first time for me to go to "Sky High". This super cool place that's full of gymnastics trampolines! I call him Superman because he's super buff and also very sweet. He is a very special friend, we had a little fling but he lives kind of far away so we're just friends. We still talk tho. He is one of those people who makes my day, often :)

Anyway that's a little bit about me with some pictures. Feel free to leave comments on any posts! I'll enjoy having followers and people that can help me out and/or relate to anything i write in the future.

Hi!

So i finally have my own blog! WELCOME...

This will be an exciting new adventure, and hopefully they'll be some people who join me on this adventure. We'll see how it goes. Blogs are fun to read, i am guaranteeing mine will always be fun to read but i plan to express feelings, experiences, and random thoughts here to share with whoever wants to read them.

WOOHOO. Here we go!